I have just setup this blog on wordpress.
I started writing a while ago. And writing, especially in the mornings, helped me finding a pattern. Actually the pattern was obvious to me all the time. But writing it down, rather then thinking it, gave me the clarity. And proof. On paper. It is written in front of me. And out of my head. Well at least the part that keeps you thinking all the time. Because now it is manifested. It’s there, on the desk. In the drawer. In the book. Not online. It’s physical.
I’m a nomad. Or at least close to this. Or maybe it’s a nice word for something mental. What are people, that can’t commit to something for very long? I want to commit. I really do. I want this all. But it doesn’t stick. Sticky changes. I tried it. Making habits. Yes, that works. But not in a way of settling. Not in a way that seems to be for much longer or eternal.
English is my second language. So even my mother language is something I’m not committed to. I always liked english more. Not that I want to be just different from others. Or do I? No, I don’t think so. I want to experience. I want to explore. I want to learn, always. I’m curious. There’s so much to see and learn and understand.
Thanks to this blog, I found by searching “I’m a nomad what can i do”, I understand, it’s not a condition. It’s a fate. Just another way of living.
How many of “us” are out there? Where are you and what are you doing? Did this stop some day? Did you arrive somewhere?
I wish I would arrive somewhere. But if I do, I get scared of it after a while and get nervous. And then I break things. Relationships, Friendships, Employment. And once it’s broken, I move on. And feel free again. Just typing the words free I feel a nice shiver.